Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
