Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
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