From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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