is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
