I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
