a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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