Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize