So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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