I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
