i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
My vagina just clenched in fear
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
