well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
