It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
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