I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
