His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Randomize