dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Acid is not a monday night drug
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Less talking, more tequila
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
