Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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