What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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