We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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