I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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