I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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