Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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