No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Of course I have a pirate flag
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
