i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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