He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
