I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize