$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize