I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
