love makes seman taste better
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
