So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
We need a shit load of segways right now
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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