i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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