Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
time to smoke my breakfast
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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