just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Everclear isn't food dammit
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
