I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
