how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
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Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
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You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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