I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
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