I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
