fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize