If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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