in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Randomize
