I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
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