I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
My ass is underappreciated
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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