she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
my shit smells like andre
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
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