no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize
