Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Randomize
