so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Randomize
