can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
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