Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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