I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
My vagina just recognized that song.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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