Jerry, you need to find god
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
