It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
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Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
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I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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