There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
wanna go halves on a baby?
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
