if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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