I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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