I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
