Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
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While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
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You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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