She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
