So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
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