You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
