just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Randomize