it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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